A lawyer married a woman who had previously been divorced ten times.

On their wedding night, she turned to her new husband and said, “Please be gentle, I’m still a v.i.rgin.”

“What?” said the baffled groom. “How is that possible after ten marriages?”

She sighed and explained:

Husband #1 was a salesman—he kept promising how amazing it would be, but never actually delivered.

Husband #2 was in software development —he wasn’t sure how it was supposed to work but said he’d troubleshoot and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services —he ran all the diagnostics but couldn’t get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing—even though he had the order, he had no clue when he could deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer—he had a complex plan but needed three years to research, design, and implement it.

Husband #6 was in finance—he thought he could do it but wasn’t sure it was in his job description.

Husband #7 was in marketing —he had great presentation skills but didn’t know how to position himself.

Husband #8 was a psychologist—all he did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist —all he did was examine it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector—all he ever did was… God, I miss him!

She then smiled at her new husband and said, “But now that I’ve married you, I know things will be different!”

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” the lawyer asked.

“Because you’re a lawyer. This time, I know I’m gonna get screwed!”