One Saturday afternoon the grasshopper, the snail, and the centipede were sitting around the grasshopper\u2019s house drinking beer.<\/p>\n
They ran out of beer before they were ready to quit drinking, so they decided one of them should go out for more beer.<\/p>\n
The snail said,<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019d go, but I\u2019m kind of slow. Besides, Grasshopper, this is your neighborhood so you know where to go.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n The grasshopper said,<\/p>\n \u201cI don\u2019t mind going, but my hopping will shake up the beer and we\u2019ll get sprayed every time we open one.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n So they decided to send the centipede; and the grasshopper explained how to get to the nearest liquor store.<\/p>\n An hour or so passed and still the centipede hadn\u2019t returned, so the snail and the grasshopper decided to go look for him.<\/p>\n They got as far as the the front door and found the centipede sitting there putting on his shoes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" One Saturday afternoon the grasshopper, the snail, and the centipede were sitting around the grasshopper\u2019s house drinking beer. They ran out of beer before they were ready to quit drinking, so they decided one of them should go out for more beer. The snail said, \u201cI\u2019d go, but I\u2019m kind of slow. Besides, Grasshopper, this […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":707,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-835","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/835","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=835"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/835\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":836,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/835\/revisions\/836"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/707"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=835"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=835"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=835"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}