An old man on crowded bus has trouble finding a seat.<\/p>\n
The bus careened down the avenue, shaking the passengers from left to right, and the old man, unable to support himself properly with his cane, fell to the floor.<\/p>\n
Little Johnny, sitting nearby, looked down at him and said,<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you put a little rubber cap on the end of your cane, you wouldn\u2019t fall like that.<\/strong><\/p>\n The old man looked up and replied,\u00a0\u201cIf your daddy had done the same, I would have a place to sit on this stupid bus.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n A farmer had 5 female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them.<\/p>\n At the fair, he met another farmer who owned 5 male pigs.<\/p>\n After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50\/50.<\/p>\n The farmers lived 60 miles apart, so they decided to drive 30 miles each morning and find a field in which to let the pigs mate.<\/p>\n The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 a.m., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon (the only vehicle he had) and drove the 30 miles.<\/p>\n While the pigs were in the field mating, he asked the other farmer,\u00a0\u201cHow will I know if they are pregnant?\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n The other farmer replied, \u201cIf they\u2019re lying in the grass tomorrow morning, they\u2019ll be pregnant. If they\u2019re lying in the mud, they\u2019re not.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud.<\/p>\n So he hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try again.<\/p>\n This continued each morning for more than a week and the farmers were worn out.<\/p>\n The next morning, one was too tired to even get out of bed.<\/p>\n So he called out to his wife,\u00a0\u201cHoney, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass.\u201d<\/b><\/p>\n \u201cNeither<\/b>,\u201d yelled his wife, \u201cThey\u2019re in the station wagon. And one of them is honking the horn.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" An old man on crowded bus has trouble finding a seat. The bus careened down the avenue, shaking the passengers from left to right, and the old man, unable to support himself properly with his cane, fell to the floor. Little Johnny, sitting nearby, looked down at him and said, \u201cIf you put a little […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":706,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-824","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/824","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=824"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/824\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":825,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/824\/revisions\/825"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/706"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=824"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=824"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=824"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}