{"id":724,"date":"2025-07-27T09:29:11","date_gmt":"2025-07-27T09:29:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=724"},"modified":"2025-07-27T09:29:11","modified_gmt":"2025-07-27T09:29:11","slug":"two-eskimos-and-a-kayak","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=724","title":{"rendered":"Two Eskimos and a Kayak."},"content":{"rendered":"

Two Eskimos sitting, paddling along in a kayak,<\/h2>\n

when one felt a little chilly so he made a little pile of sticks and lit a fire in the craft.<\/p>\n

His friend shouted at him to put it out, but the warning was ignored.<\/p>\n

Unsurprisingly, the kayak sank quite quickly and finding themselves in the cold water, the second Eskimo whacked his idiot mate over the head with a now redundant paddle.<\/p>\n

\u201cOuch!!\u201d said the previously warm Eskimo, \u201cwhat did you do that for?!?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause, you idiot,\u201d said the second Eskimo,\u00a0\u201cDon\u2019t you know that you can\u2019t have your kayak and heat it too??\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean.<\/h2>\n

Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there.<\/p>\n

The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket.<\/p>\n

The physicist says, \u201cI know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out.\u201d<\/p>\n

The chemist says, \u201cNo! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants.\u201d<\/p>\n

While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires.<\/p>\n

They both scream, \u201cWhat are you doing?!?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cTrying to get an adequate sample size!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

While sports fishing off the Florida coast in Key West, a tourist capsized his boat.<\/h2>\n

He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.<\/p>\n

Spotting an old beachcomber walking on the shore, the tourist shouted, \u201cThere wouldn\u2019t by chance be any alligators in these waters?!\u201d<\/p>\n

He asks in panic. \u201cNo,\u201d the old man hollered back, \u201chaven\u2019t been any for years!\u201d<\/p>\n

Feeling relieved, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.<\/p>\n

About halfway toward shore he asked the old man, \u201cSay, how\u2019d you get rid of the gators, anyway?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWe didn\u2019t do anything,\u201d\u00a0<\/strong>the old man said.\u00a0\u201cThe sharks got \u2019em.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.<\/h2>\n

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said, \u201cYou know,it\u2019s blondes like that that give us a bad name!\u201d<\/p>\n

To this, the other blonde replies, \u201cI know it, and if I knew how to swim, I\u2019d go out there and drown her.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Two Eskimos sitting, paddling along in a kayak, when one felt a little chilly so he made a little pile of sticks and lit a fire in the craft. His friend shouted at him to put it out, but the warning was ignored. Unsurprisingly, the kayak sank quite quickly and finding themselves in the cold […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":706,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-724","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/724","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=724"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/724\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":725,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/724\/revisions\/725"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/706"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=724"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=724"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=724"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}