{"id":718,"date":"2025-07-27T09:23:08","date_gmt":"2025-07-27T09:23:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=718"},"modified":"2025-07-27T09:23:08","modified_gmt":"2025-07-27T09:23:08","slug":"give-me-two-reasons","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=718","title":{"rendered":"Give Me Two Reasons."},"content":{"rendered":"

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.<\/h2>\n

\u201cWake up, son. It\u2019s time to go to school!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut why, Mom? I don\u2019t want to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGive me two reasons why you don\u2019t want to go.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh, that\u2019s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGive me two reasons why I should go to school.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, for one, you\u2019re 52 years old. And for another, you\u2019re the Principal!\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

My daughter hates school.<\/h2>\n

One weekend, she cried and fretted and tried every excuse not to go back on Monday.<\/p>\n

Sunday morning on the way home from brunch, the crying and whining built to a crescendo.<\/p>\n

At the end of my rope, I finally stopped the car and explained, \u201cHoney, it\u2019s a law. If you don\u2019t go to school, they\u2019ll put daddy in jail.\u201d<\/p>\n

She looked at me, thought for a moment, then asked,\u00a0\u201cHow long would you have to stay?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

One night there were three female fugitives escaping from jail.<\/h2>\n

One was blonde, one was brunette and the other was a redhead.<\/p>\n

They had the police hot on their trail and, quickly thinking the brunette points out an old, abandoned factory perfect for hiding in.<\/p>\n

When all three were inside the redhead, quickly thinking said they should all hide in old potato sacks in the corner as they could hear the police approaching the factory.<\/p>\n

They all got in their little potato sacks and barely a minute later the police came crashing through the door.<\/p>\n

They looked at the sacks and said: \u2018Hmm maybe they are hiding in these.\u2019<\/p>\n

The officer kicks the red-head\u2019s sack and she makes whimpering noises. \u2018Hmm just puppies in that sack\u2019<\/p>\n

The officer kicks the brunette\u2019s sack and she makes mewing noises. \u2018Hmm just kittens in that sack\u2019 He says.<\/p>\n

He finally kicks the blonde\u2019s sack and she screams:\u00a0\u2018POTATOES! POTATOES!\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n

A very drunk man<\/h2>\n

turns up at his house at 6 o\u2019clock in the morning with his hair and clothes dishevelled. His long suffering wife, who has been waiting up all night, shouts at him furiously, \u201cI hope you have a good reason for getting home blind drunk at this time of the morning!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d replied the man,\u00a0\u201cI\u2019d like some breakfast!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

One day, a blonde\u2019s neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened.<\/h2>\n

The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left.<\/p>\n

The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time.<\/p>\n

\u201cI just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. \u201cWake up, son. It\u2019s time to go to school!\u201d \u201cBut why, Mom? I don\u2019t want to go.\u201d \u201cGive me two reasons why you don\u2019t want to go.\u201d \u201cWell, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!\u201d \u201cOh, that\u2019s no […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":707,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-718","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/718","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=718"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/718\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":719,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/718\/revisions\/719"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/707"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=718"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=718"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=718"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}