{"id":672,"date":"2025-07-25T12:56:17","date_gmt":"2025-07-25T12:56:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=672"},"modified":"2025-07-25T12:56:17","modified_gmt":"2025-07-25T12:56:17","slug":"a-fancy-nursing-home","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=672","title":{"rendered":"A Fancy Nursing Home."},"content":{"rendered":"

With their ailing mother needing constant medical supervision,<\/h2>\n

a family decided to bring her to a very expensive and caring nursing home for a day to try it out.<\/p>\n

The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.<\/p>\n

She seemed okay but after a while she slowly started to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her out.<\/p>\n

Again, she seemed okay but after a while she started to tilt to the other side. The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright.<\/p>\n

This went on all morning, with the dedicated nurses making sure the old woman didn\u2019t fall.<\/p>\n

Later, the family arrived to see how she was adjusting to her new home.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?\u201d they asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s very nice,\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0she replied.\u00a0\u201cExcept they won\u2019t let you fart.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The man told his doctor that he wasn\u2019t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.<\/h2>\n

When the examination was complete, he said: \u201cNow, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, in plain English,\u201d the doctor replied,\u00a0\u201cyou\u2019re just lazy.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cOkay,\u201d said the man.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

A man goes to the doctor and says, \u201cDoctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.\u201d<\/h2>\n

The doctor asks, \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n

The man says, \u201cWhen I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee \u2013<\/p>\n

OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.\u201d<\/p>\n

The doctor says,\u00a0\u201cI know what\u2019s wrong with you \u2013 you\u2019ve broken your finger!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

A young man introduces his fiancee to his parents.<\/h2>\n

While they were having dinner the girl gently farts. Annoyed by the funny smell the father in law yells:<\/p>\n

\u2013 Rocky!!<\/p>\n

The girl is relieved that the future in-law blamed the dog from under her chair but after a few minutes she lets one more rip.<\/p>\n

The boy\u2019s father is getting nervous:<\/p>\n

\u2013 Rocky!! be careful now!!<\/p>\n

Worried no more the girl fires another one.<\/p>\n

Feeling exasperated, the boy\u2019s father yells:<\/p>\n

\u2013 Rocky! Get out of there fast! She\u2019s gonna sh*t on you!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

With their ailing mother needing constant medical supervision, a family decided to bring her to a very expensive and caring nursing home for a day to try it out. The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":556,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-672","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/672","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=672"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/672\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":673,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/672\/revisions\/673"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/556"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=672"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=672"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=672"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}