So two Irishmen are traveling to Australia.<\/p>\n
Before they leave home, one of their dads gives them both a bit of advice: \u201cYou watch them Aussie cab drivers. They\u2019ll rob you blind. Don\u2019t you go paying them what they ask. You haggle.\u201d<\/p>\n
At the Sydney airport, the Irishmen catch a cab to their hotel. When they reach their destination, the cabbie says, \u201cThat\u2019ll be twenty dollars, lads.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cOh no, you don\u2019t! My dad warned me about you. You\u2019ll only be getting fifteen dollars from me,\u201d says one of the men.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd you\u2019ll only be getting fifteen from me too,\u201d adds the other.<\/p>\n
Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish are out walking along the beach together one day.
\nThey come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.<\/p>\n
\u201cI will give you each one wish, that\u2019s three wishes in total,\u201d says the Genie.<\/p>\n
The Scottish guy says, \u201cI am a fisherman, my Dad\u2019s a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity.\u201d<\/p>\n
So, with a blink of the Genie\u2019s eye \u201cpoof\u201d the oceans were teeming with fish.<\/p>\n
The Englishman was amazed, so he said, \u201cI want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity.\u201d<\/p>\n
Again, with a blink of the Genie\u2019s eye \u201cpoof\u201d there was a huge wall around England.<\/p>\n
The Irishman asks, \u201cI\u2019m very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Genie explains, \u201cWell, it\u2019s about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Irishman says, \u201cPlease Fill it up with water.\u201d<\/p>\n
There\u2019s a guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink.
\nHe stays like that for half an hour. Soon, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him takes the drink from the guy and just drinks it all down.<\/p>\n
The poor man starts crying.<\/p>\n
The truck driver says, \u201cCome on man, I was just joking. Here, I\u2019ll buy you another drink. I just can\u2019t stand seeing a man crying.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, it\u2019s not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I\u2019m late to the office. My boss, in an outrage, fires me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThe police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home and come to this bar.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drank my poison.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
So two Irishmen are traveling to Australia. Before they leave home, one of their dads gives them both a bit of advice: \u201cYou watch them Aussie cab drivers. They\u2019ll rob you blind. Don\u2019t you go paying them what they ask. You haggle.\u201d At the Sydney airport, the Irishmen catch a cab to their hotel. When […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":555,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-634","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/634","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=634"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/634\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":636,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/634\/revisions\/636"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/555"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=634"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=634"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=634"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}