A man in Pakistan calls his son in London the day before Eid and says,
\n\u2018I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.\u2019<\/p>\n
\u2018Dad, what are you talking about?\u2019 the son screams.<\/p>\n
\u2018We can\u2019t stand the sight of each other any longer,\u2019 the father says.<\/p>\n
\u2018We\u2019re sick of each other and I\u2019m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.\u2019<\/p>\n
Franticly, the son calls his sister who explodes on the phone, \u2018Like hell, they\u2019re getting divorced!\u2019 she shouts. \u2018I\u2019ll take care of this!\u2019<\/p>\n
She calls Pakistan immediately, and screams at her father, \u2018You are not getting divorced. Don\u2019t do a single thing until I get there. I\u2019m calling my brother back, and we\u2019ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don\u2019t do a thing! Do you hear me?\u2019<\/p>\n
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife, \u2018Sorted! They\u2019re coming for Eid, and they\u2019re paying their own way.\u2019<\/p>\n
Remote shopping
\n\u201cCash, check or charge?\u201d the billing clerk at a store asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet he noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you always carry your TV remote?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d she replied. \u201cBut my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him.\u201d<\/p>\n
The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked,
\n\u201cYou know, I\u2019ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A man in Pakistan calls his son in London the day before Eid and says, \u2018I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.\u2019 \u2018Dad, what are you talking about?\u2019 the son screams. \u2018We can\u2019t stand the sight of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":557,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-554","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/554","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=554"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/554\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":558,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/554\/revisions\/558"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/557"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=554"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=554"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=554"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}