{"id":467,"date":"2025-07-18T10:39:00","date_gmt":"2025-07-18T10:39:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=467"},"modified":"2025-07-18T10:39:00","modified_gmt":"2025-07-18T10:39:00","slug":"a-bald-guy-walks-into-a-bar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=467","title":{"rendered":"A bald guy walks into a bar"},"content":{"rendered":"

A bald guy walks into a bar, turns to the noticably short bartender, and says \u201cHey midget, gimme a beer!\u201d<\/h2>\n

The bartender gives the man a beer, but tells the man not to refer to him as a midget.<\/p>\n

A few drinks later, the guy turns to the bartender and again says, \u201chey midget\u2026 gimme another beer!\u201d<\/p>\n

The bartender gets upset and warns the man about calling him a midget, but gives him his beer.<\/p>\n

After the thrid time this happens, the bartender says, \u201cHey! I told you to stop calling me a midget! How would you like it if I called you \u2018baldy\u2019 if our positions were reversed?\u201d<\/p>\n

The guy thinks about it and admits that he wouldn\u2019t mind. The bartender disagrees, and ultimately they agree to switch positions to let the man see how it feels.<\/p>\n

The bartender moves to the front of the bar, and the guy moves to the back. The bartender says, \u201cHey baldy, gimme a beer!\u201d<\/p>\n

The guy leans over the bar and says,\u00a0\u201cSorry, but we don\u2019t serve midgets here.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

A gorilla goes into a bar and orders a martini.<\/h2>\n

This totally amazes the bartender, but he thinks, \u201cWhat the heck, I guess I might as well make the drink.\u201d So he mixes the martini. He then walks back over to the give it to the gorilla, and the animal is holding out a twenty-dollar bill. Well, now the bartender is just at a loss for words. He can\u2019t believe that a gorilla walked into his bar, ordered a martini, and then actually had a twenty-dollar bill to pay for it.<\/p>\n

So, in amazement, he takes the twenty and walks to the cash register to make the change. While he\u2019s standing in front of the cash register he stops for a second and thinks to himself, \u201cLet me try something here and see if the gorilla notices anything.\u201d<\/p>\n

So he walks back over to the gorilla and hands him a dollar change. The gorilla doesn\u2019t say anything, he just sits there sipping the martini. After a few minutes the bartender just can\u2019t take it anymore.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know,\u201d he says to the gorilla, \u201cwe don\u2019t get too many gorillas in here.\u201d<\/p>\n

And the gorilla says,\u00a0\u201cAt nineteen dollars a drink I\u2019m not surprised.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

A man Comes home late one night, drunk.<\/h2>\n

\u201cWhere have you been?\u201d asks his wife.<\/p>\n

\u201cIn the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!\u201d<\/p>\n

This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, who calls the Golden Bar.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have golden chairs?\u201d \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have golden glasses?\u201d \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have golden beer?\u201d \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDo you have a golden urinal?\u201d \u201cHold on.\u201d<\/p>\n

On the other end, she hears \u201cI think we have a line on the guy who pissed in your saxophone.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A bald guy walks into a bar, turns to the noticably short bartender, and says \u201cHey midget, gimme a beer!\u201d The bartender gives the man a beer, but tells the man not to refer to him as a midget. A few drinks later, the guy turns to the bartender and again says, \u201chey midget\u2026 gimme […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":454,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-467","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/467","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=467"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/467\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":468,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/467\/revisions\/468"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/454"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=467"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=467"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=467"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}