D3ath came to a guy and said, \u201cMy friend today is your day\u2026\u201d
\nThe guy said, \u201cBut I am not ready!\u201d<\/p>\n
Then d3ath said, \u201cWell your name is the next on my list\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
So the guy told d3ath, \u201cOk why don\u2019t you take a seat and I will get you something to eat before we go?\u201d<\/p>\n
D3ath said, \u201cAll right\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
The guy gave d3ath some food with sleeping pills in it, d3ath finished eating and fell into a deep sleep. The guy took the list & removed his name from top of the list to the bottom of the list.<\/p>\n
When d3ath woke up he said to the guy, \u201cI will start from the bottom of the list because you have been so very nice to me\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
An old accountant is on his d3athbed.
\nSummoning his last bit of strength, he lifts his head and whispers: \u201cIs my beloved wife Sarah here with me?\u201d<\/p>\n
And Sarah says, \u201cYes, I am here.\u201d<\/p>\n
He then says: \u201cAre my children \u2014 my wonderful children \u2014 are they here with me?\u201d<\/p>\n
And they reply, \u201cYes father, we are here with you to see you breathe your last.\u201d<\/p>\n
And he says: \u201cAre my brothers and sisters here with me as well?\u201d<\/p>\n
And they too tell him that they are here.<\/p>\n
So the old man lays back quietly, closes his eyes, and says,<\/p>\n
\u201cSo if everybody is here\u2026 why is the light on in the kitchen?!?\u201d<\/p>\n
A young guy and girlfriend were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch.
\nFor several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, \u201cA penny for your thoughts.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, uh, I was thinkin\u2019. . . perhaps it\u2019s about time for a kiss.\u201d<\/p>\n
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnother penny for your thoughts, honey.\u201d<\/p>\n
The young man knit his brow. \u201cWell, now,\u201d he said, \u201cmy thoughts are a bit more serious this time.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cReally?\u201d said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.<\/p>\n
\u201cDon\u2019t you think it\u2019s about time you pay me that first penny?\u201d, said the guy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
D3ath came to a guy and said, \u201cMy friend today is your day\u2026\u201d The guy said, \u201cBut I am not ready!\u201d Then d3ath said, \u201cWell your name is the next on my list\u2026\u201d So the guy told d3ath, \u201cOk why don\u2019t you take a seat and I will get you something to eat before we […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":296,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-295","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/295","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=295"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/295\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":297,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/295\/revisions\/297"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/296"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=295"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=295"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=295"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}