{"id":1943,"date":"2025-10-13T12:08:33","date_gmt":"2025-10-13T12:08:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=1943"},"modified":"2025-10-13T12:08:33","modified_gmt":"2025-10-13T12:08:33","slug":"lil-johnnys-mother-took-him-to-the-bank","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=1943","title":{"rendered":"Lil\u2019 Johnny\u2019s mother took him to the bank"},"content":{"rendered":"

Lil\u2019 Johnny\u2019s mother took him with her to the bank on a busy Friday.<\/h2>\n

They were in line behind a rather obese lady wearing a business suit, complete with a pager. As the mother patiently waited, Lil\u2019 Johnny looked at the women in front of him and observed loudly, \u201cHey, Mom, she\u2019s REALLY FAT.\u201d<\/p>\n

The lady looked at Johnny, made eye contact with his mother and gave an understanding smile. Lil\u2019 Johnny received a quiet reprimand.<\/p>\n

After a minute or two, Lil\u2019 Johnny spread his hands as far as they will go and loudly said, \u201cI bet her butt is *that* wide.\u201d<\/p>\n

At this the lady glared at Johnny. His embarrassed mother severely scolds her son.<\/p>\n

Again after a couple of minutes Lil\u2019 Johnny stated loudly, \u201cLook how the fat hangs over her belt.\u201d<\/p>\n

The lady turned and told Johnny\u2019s mother to control her rude child and his mother threatened him with his very life and existence. Things in the bank are quiet.<\/p>\n

The lady moved to the front of the line when her pager begins to emit its distinctive tone. Lil\u2019 Johnny yelled in a panic at the top of his voice,\u00a0\u201cRUN FOR YOUR LIFE MOM, SHE\u2019S BACKING UP!\u201d \u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The banker saw his old friend Tom, an 80-year old rancher, on his farm.<\/h2>\n

Tom had lost his wife a year or so before, and rumor had it that he was marrying a \u2018mail order\u2019 bride.<\/p>\n

Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true.<\/p>\n

Tom assured him that it was.<\/p>\n

The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.<\/p>\n

Tom proudly said, \u201cShe\u2019ll be 21 in November.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the a young woman could not be s.a.tisfied by an 80-year-old man. Wanting his old friend\u2019s remaining years to be happy, the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.<\/p>\n

Tom thought this was a good idea, and said he would look for one that afternoon..<\/p>\n

About four months later, the banker ran into Tom again\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cHow\u2019s the new wife?\u201d, asked the banker.<\/p>\n

Tom proudly said, \u201cGood \u2013 she\u2019s pregnant.\u201d<\/p>\n

The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, \u201cAnd how\u2019s the hired hand?\u201d<\/p>\n

Without hesitating, Tom whispered, \u201cShe\u2019s pregnant, too.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Lil\u2019 Johnny\u2019s mother took him with her to the bank on a busy Friday. They were in line behind a rather obese lady wearing a business suit, complete with a pager. As the mother patiently waited, Lil\u2019 Johnny looked at the women in front of him and observed loudly, \u201cHey, Mom, she\u2019s REALLY FAT.\u201d The […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":889,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1943","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1943","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1943"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1943\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1944,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1943\/revisions\/1944"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/889"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1943"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1943"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1943"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}