{"id":1917,"date":"2025-10-10T13:31:34","date_gmt":"2025-10-10T13:31:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=1917"},"modified":"2025-10-10T13:31:34","modified_gmt":"2025-10-10T13:31:34","slug":"a-last-night-on-the-town","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=1917","title":{"rendered":"A last night on the town"},"content":{"rendered":"

Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town.<\/h2>\n

After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel.<\/p>\n

The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager, \u201cgo up to the first two bedrooms and put an inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk, i\u2019m not wasting two of my girls on them. They won\u2019t know the difference.\u201d<\/p>\n

The manager does as she is told and the two old men go upstairs and take care of their business.<\/p>\n

As they are walking home the first man says, \u201cyou know, i think my girl was dead!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDead?\u201d says his friend, \u201cwhy would you say that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving her.\u201d<\/p>\n

His friend says, \u201cI think mine was a witch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cA witch, why would you say that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck and I gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window!\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Two drunks enter a hotel late at night.<\/h2>\n

They approach the night-clerk, and one of them says, \u201cCould you please give us a bed with two rooms?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou mean a room with two beds?\u201d asks the clerk.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhatever, whatever you say.\u201d<\/p>\n

So they get a key and somehow to stumble upstairs to their room.<\/p>\n

After fumbling for ten minutes, they even manage to get their door open. As they stumble inside, the door closes behind them and they are in total darkness. They go forward slowly, and both fail on the bed closest to the door.<\/p>\n

\u201cAhh,\u201d says one, \u201cNow we can get some sleep at last.\u201d As they try to rearrange themselves, they suddenly realize that they are not alone in their bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey! There\u2019s somebody in my bed!\u201d says one of them<\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s somebody in my bed too!\u201d says the other.<\/p>\n

\u201cLet\u2019s get rid of them. We paid for this room and we\u2019re going to sleep in the beds!\u201d says the first.<\/p>\n

They start a tremendous struggle. They heave and push until eventually one of them throws the other on the floor.<\/p>\n

\u201cALL RIGHT!!\u201d he shouts, \u201cI\u2019ve thrown mind off the bed.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou are lucky,\u201d says other, \u201c I got thrown off and I\u2019m too tired to flight any more.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, never mind,\u201d says the first, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you just come and share my bed. Let\u2019s get some sleep round here.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide to have a last night on the town. After a few drinks, they end up at the local brothel. The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers to her manager, \u201cgo up to the first two bedrooms and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":889,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1917","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1917","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1917"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1917\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1918,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1917\/revisions\/1918"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/889"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1917"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1917"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1917"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}