{"id":1876,"date":"2025-10-09T08:32:58","date_gmt":"2025-10-09T08:32:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=1876"},"modified":"2025-10-09T08:32:58","modified_gmt":"2025-10-09T08:32:58","slug":"grandpa-and-grandma-were-watching-the-television-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=1876","title":{"rendered":"Grandpa and grandma were watching the television"},"content":{"rendered":"

Grandpa and grandma were watching the television evangelical show<\/h2>\n

and the preacher said, if the viewers at home wanted to be healed, place one hand on the television set and the other hand on the body part where they wanted to be healed.<\/p>\n

Grandma got up and slowly hobbled to the television set, placed her right hand on the set and her left hand on her arthritic shoulder that was causing her to have great pain.<\/p>\n

Then Grandpa got up, went to the TV, placed his right hand on the set and his left hand on his crotch.<\/p>\n

Grandma scowled at him and said, \u201cI guess you just don\u2019t get it. The purpose of doing this is to heal the sick, not to raise the dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

A 5-year old girl went to visit her grandmother one day.<\/h2>\n

She played with her dolls as grandma dusted the furniture.<\/p>\n

At one point, she looked up and asked: \u201cGrandma, how come you don\u2019t have a boyfriend?\u201d<\/p>\n

Grandma replied: \u201cHoney, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. The comedies make me laugh. I\u2019m so happy with my TV as my boyfriend.\u201d<\/p>\n

Grandma turned on the TV and the picture was horrible. She started adjusting the knobs trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting the back of the TV hoping to fix the problem.<\/p>\n

The little girl heard the doorbell ring so she hurried to open the front door. When she opened the door, there stood Grandma\u2019s minister.<\/p>\n

The minister said: \u201cHello young lady. Is your grandma home?\u201d<\/p>\n

The little girl replied:\u00a0\u201cYeah, she\u2019s in the bedroom bangin\u2019 her boyfriend.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

After the birth of their first child Tom and Sarah decided it was time to write a will and get their affairs in order.<\/h2>\n

They went to a lawyer and outlined for him their ideas about how their estate should be handled.<\/p>\n

The lawyer then asked them questions about what medical means should be employed should they become severely injured.<\/p>\n

Tom spoke up, \u201cI don\u2019t want my life regulated by some machine. I just can\u2019t stand the idea of receiving my nourishment from a bottle.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sarah took Tom\u2019s words to heart. When they got home,\u00a0she cut the TV cord and dumped out all of Tom\u2019s beer.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Grandpa and grandma were watching the television evangelical show and the preacher said, if the viewers at home wanted to be healed, place one hand on the television set and the other hand on the body part where they wanted to be healed. Grandma got up and slowly hobbled to the television set, placed her […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":889,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1876","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1876","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1876"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1876\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1877,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1876\/revisions\/1877"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/889"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1876"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1876"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1876"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}