{"id":1783,"date":"2025-10-03T10:56:46","date_gmt":"2025-10-03T10:56:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=1783"},"modified":"2025-10-03T10:56:46","modified_gmt":"2025-10-03T10:56:46","slug":"take-an-umbrella-with-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=1783","title":{"rendered":"Take an Umbrella With You"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2>The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him:<\/h2>\n<p>\u201cWere you at the fox\u2019s party as well?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes, I was. So what?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWere you sitting on the table?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah, why?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: \u201cNext time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut why, my friend?\u201d the hedgehog wonders.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-18522 size-full td-animation-stack-type2-2\" src=\"https:\/\/teachmelife.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/w3.jpg\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/teachmelife.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/w3.jpg 400w, https:\/\/teachmelife.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/w3-300x233.jpg 300w\" alt=\"\" width=\"400\" height=\"311\" \/><\/p>\n<h2>I told my friend not to get too excited about turning 32, since her birthday party would be so short.<\/h2>\n<p>\u201cWhy would it be short?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n<p>I said, \u201cBecause it\u2019s your\u00a0<strong>thirty-second<\/strong>\u00a0birthday.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2>A man and his wife attended a dinner party at the home of their friends.<\/h2>\n<p>Near the end of the meal, the wife reprimanded her husband.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s the third time you\u2019ve gone for dessert,\u201d she scolded. \u201cThe hostess must think you\u2019re selfish and an absolute pig.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t think so,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019ve been telling her<strong>\u00a0it\u2019s for you.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<h2>Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs.<\/h2>\n<p>Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh, Mister,\u201d one of them said after catching his breath,<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou scared us half to death \u2014 we thought you were a ghost!<\/p>\n<p>What are you doing working here so late at night?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThose fools!\u201d the old man grumbled.<strong>\u00a0\u201cThey misspelled my name!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<h2>An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat.<\/h2>\n<p>\u201cBut will it be all right in the rain?\u201d she asked anxiously.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOh certainly, ma am,\u201d said the manager smoothly.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAfter all, you\u2019ve never seen a squirrel with an umbrella have you?\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: \u201cWere you at the fox\u2019s party as well?\u201d \u201cYes, I was. So what?\u201d \u201cWere you sitting on the table?\u201d \u201cYeah, why?\u201d The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: \u201cNext time, wherever you go, take an umbrella [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":889,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1783","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1783","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1783"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1783\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1784,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1783\/revisions\/1784"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/889"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1783"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1783"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1783"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}