{"id":1768,"date":"2025-10-03T10:48:25","date_gmt":"2025-10-03T10:48:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=1768"},"modified":"2025-10-03T10:48:25","modified_gmt":"2025-10-03T10:48:25","slug":"a-bear-walks-into-a-bar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=1768","title":{"rendered":"A bear walks into a bar."},"content":{"rendered":"

A bear walks into a bar.<\/h2>\n

The bartender is extremely busy and looks tired. He eventually makes his way over to the bear.<\/p>\n

The bear immediately tells him, \u201cYou look exhausted.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, it\u2019s been a rough day,\u201d says the bartender, \u201cWhat are you drinking?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll have a glass of\u2026\u201d says the bear. He waits a painfully long moment before adding \u201c\u2026 scotch.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy the long face?\u201d asks the bartender.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you mean \u201cbig pause\u201d?\u201d asks the bear.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, sorry.\u201d Sighs the Bartender. \u201cLike I said, it\u2019s been a rough day.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

A bear is chasing a squirrel in the woods.<\/h2>\n

They cross a river when, all of a sudden, the river genie appears.<\/p>\n

Genie: \u201cWell, alright. Two customers. I don\u2019t know who triggered this whole thing, so lemme give you both 3 wishes. Bear, you start, since you\u2019re bigger.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bear thinks for a moment. He smiles: \u201cOk, I want all the other bears in this forest to be females.\u201d<\/p>\n

Genie grants the wish, turns to squirrel. Squirrel thinks. He looks up to the genie: \u201cI want a motorcycle.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bear shakes his head: \u201cSquirrel, you don\u2019t know how to wish.\u201d<\/p>\n

Genie then asked the bear for his second wish.<\/p>\n

Bear responds: \u201cAll right, I want all the other bears in the COUNTRY to be females.\u201d Genie grants the wish.<\/p>\n

Genie turns to squirrel: \u201cHow about it?\u201d Squirrel responds: \u201cGimme a motorcycle helmet.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bear shakes his head again. \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong with you?\u201d Genie then turns once more to bear and asked for final wish. \u201cYou know what? I want all the other bears in the WORLD to be female.\u201d<\/p>\n

Genie grants the wish, then turns to squirrel.<\/p>\n

Squirrel grabs his helmet, puts it on. He then walks to the motorcycle, gets on it. He starts it, runs the engine a little.<\/p>\n

As he rides away, not looking back, he yells: \u201cI WANT THE BEAR TO BE GAY!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A bear walks into a bar. The bartender is extremely busy and looks tired. He eventually makes his way over to the bear. The bear immediately tells him, \u201cYou look exhausted.\u201d \u201cYeah, it\u2019s been a rough day,\u201d says the bartender, \u201cWhat are you drinking?\u201d \u201cI\u2019ll have a glass of\u2026\u201d says the bear. He waits a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":890,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1768","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1768","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1768"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1768\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1769,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1768\/revisions\/1769"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/890"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1768"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1768"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1768"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}