{"id":1762,"date":"2025-10-03T10:44:09","date_gmt":"2025-10-03T10:44:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=1762"},"modified":"2025-10-03T10:44:09","modified_gmt":"2025-10-03T10:44:09","slug":"a-lovely-lady-came-up-to-me-at-the-mall","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=1762","title":{"rendered":"A lovely lady came up to me at the mall"},"content":{"rendered":"

A lovely lady came up to me at the mall and said<\/h2>\n

\u201cPlease, I am looking for a one night stand.\u201d<\/p>\n

I had the shop shut up and the door locked before you could say Billybob, and we went to a bar for a couple of aperitifs, a nice restaurant, a club I know where they have a good floorshow, and then I took that lovely lady home and, being a gentleman, I will draw the veil of discretion over what followed.<\/p>\n

As the sun peeped over the windowsill, I smiled sweetly at her sleepy face and said \u201cSo how was that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWas wonderful,\u201d she said, \u201cbut I still have no place to put bedside lamp.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes.<\/h2>\n

We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.<\/p>\n

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him.<\/p>\n

The teenager would look and find him staring every time.<\/p>\n

When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, \u201cWhat\u2019s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?\u201d<\/p>\n

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one.<\/p>\n

And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response. \u201cGot drunk once and screwed a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.\u201d<\/p>\n

A fifteen-year-old Amish boy and his father visited the city for the very first time.<\/h2>\n

They wandered around, marveling at the different sights. Eventually, they got to a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but they were especially amazed at two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.<\/p>\n

The boy asked, \u201cWhat is this Father?\u201d<\/p>\n

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, \u201cSon, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don\u2019t know what it is.\u201d<\/p>\n

While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady passed between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially.<\/p>\n

They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond woman stepped out.<\/p>\n

The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son:\u00a0\u201cJunior, go get your Mother.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A lovely lady came up to me at the mall and said \u201cPlease, I am looking for a one night stand.\u201d I had the shop shut up and the door locked before you could say Billybob, and we went to a bar for a couple of aperitifs, a nice restaurant, a club I know where […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":889,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1762","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1762","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1762"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1762\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1763,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1762\/revisions\/1763"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/889"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1762"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1762"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1762"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}