{"id":1088,"date":"2025-08-12T12:33:57","date_gmt":"2025-08-12T12:33:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=1088"},"modified":"2025-08-12T12:33:57","modified_gmt":"2025-08-12T12:33:57","slug":"a-guy-walks-into-a-bar-with-a-giraffe-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=1088","title":{"rendered":"A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe."},"content":{"rendered":"

A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe.<\/h2>\n

They sit down on two stools at the front and the guy says to the barman \u201d two beers please barman\u201d, the barman pours them two beers and the giraffe grabs his and drinks it down in one go and then the guy follows suit.<\/p>\n

The guy then says again \u201canother two beers please barman\u201d and the barman pours two more beers and once again the giraffe sculls his down and the guy does likewise.<\/p>\n

This goes on for a fair while with the giraffe and the guy sculling beer after beer after beer. The two have had about 17 beers each and then the guy looks over at the giraffe who is starting to wobble on his stool\u2026\u2026his wobbling gets worse and worse and eventually he just passes out and falls backwards off the stool onto the floor.<\/p>\n

The guy looks at him and then gets up off his stool and starts walking out of the bar.<\/p>\n

The barman then yells at the guy as he is leaving \u201cHEY!\u2026you can\u2019t leave that lyin\u2019 there\u201d<\/p>\n

The guy looks at the giraffe and then replies\u00a0\u201cthat\u2019s not a lion that\u2019s a giraffe\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0and walks out.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.<\/h2>\n

He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.<\/p>\n

The 10 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering the story of a man on the ledge of a tall building preparing to jump.<\/p>\n

The blonde looked at Bob and said, \u201cDo you think he\u2019ll jump?\u201d<\/p>\n

Bob said, \u201cYou know, I bet he\u2019ll jump.\u201d<\/p>\n

The blonde replied, \u201cWell, I bet $20 he won\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, \u201cYou\u2019re on!\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building.<\/p>\n

The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob. \u201cFair\u2019s fair. Here\u2019s your money.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bob replied, \u201cI can\u2019t take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 PM news, So I knew he would jump.\u201d<\/p>\n

The blonde replied, \u201cI did, too, But I didn\u2019t think he\u2019d do it again.\u201d<\/p>\n

Bob took the money.<\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Two drunks are walking along.<\/h2>\n

One drunk says to the other, \u201cWhat a beautiful night, look at the moon.\u201d<\/p>\n

The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. \u201cYou\u2019re wrong, that\u2019s not the moon, that\u2019s the sun.\u201d<\/p>\n

They began to argue when they come upon another drunk. They asked, \u201cSir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that\u2019s shining.
\nIs it the moon or the sun?\u201d<\/p>\n

The third drunk looked at the sky and said,\u00a0\u201cSorry, I don\u2019t live around here.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe. They sit down on two stools at the front and the guy says to the barman \u201d two beers please barman\u201d, the barman pours them two beers and the giraffe grabs his and drinks it down in one go and then the guy follows suit. The […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":889,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1088","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1088","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1088"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1088\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1089,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1088\/revisions\/1089"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/889"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1088"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1088"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1088"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}