![\"\"](\"https:\/\/teachmelife.b-cdn.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/11\/w3.jpg\")
<\/p>\nHaving been burgled in the past, we turned on a \u2018night light\u2019 and the answering machine, then put the cat in the backyard.<\/p>\n
When our cab arrived, we walked out our front door and our rather tubby cat scooted between our legs inside, then ran up the stairs. Because our cat likes to chase our budgie we really didn\u2019t want to leave them un-chaperoned so my husband ran inside to retrieve her and put her in the back yard again. Because I didn\u2019t want the taxi driver to know our house was going to be empty all evening, I explained to him that my husband would be out momentarily as he was just bidding goodnight to my mother.<\/p>\n
A few minutes later he got into the cab all hot and bothered, and said (to my growing horror and amusement) as the cab pulled away:<\/p>\n
\u201cSorry it took so long but she was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so i grabbed her by the neck and wrapped her in a blanket so she wouldn\u2019t scratch me like she did last time. But it worked! I hauled her down the stairs and threw her into the backyard\u2026.she had better not crap in the vegetable garden again.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
He passed a cabin with a man sitting on the porch playing his fiddle.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy don\u2019t you go inside on this rainy day?\u201d the tourist asked.<\/p>\n
\u201cBecause the roof leaks,\u201d answered the fiddler.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, then, why don\u2019t you fix the roof?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCan\u2019t fix a roof when it\u2019s raining,\u201d the fiddler answered.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, why don\u2019t you fix the roof on a sunny day?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cCause the roof don\u2019t leak on sunny days!\u201d replied the fiddler.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My husband and I were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and a movie. Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a \u2018night light\u2019 and the answering machine, then put the cat in the backyard. When our cab arrived, we walked out our front door and our […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":890,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1084","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1084","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1084"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1084\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1085,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1084\/revisions\/1085"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/890"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1084"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1084"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1084"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}