{"id":1045,"date":"2025-08-09T09:15:53","date_gmt":"2025-08-09T09:15:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=1045"},"modified":"2025-08-09T09:15:53","modified_gmt":"2025-08-09T09:15:53","slug":"a-blonde-keeps-having-the-same-weird-dream","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=1045","title":{"rendered":"A blonde keeps having the same weird dream"},"content":{"rendered":"

A blonde keeps having the same weird dream, so she goes to her doctor.<\/h2>\n

Doctor, \u201cWhat is your dream about?\u201d<\/p>\n

Blonde, \u201cI am being chased by a vampire\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Doctor, \u201cSo, where are you in this dream?\u201d<\/p>\n

Blonde, \u201cI am running in a hallway.\u201d<\/p>\n

Doctor, \u201cThen what happens?\u201d<\/p>\n

Blonde, \u201cWell, that\u2019s the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happens. I always come to a door, but I can\u2019t open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it won\u2019t budge!\u201d<\/p>\n

Doctor, \u201cDoes the door have any letters on it?\u201d<\/p>\n

Blonde, \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Doctor, \u201cAnd what do these letter spell?\u201d<\/p>\n

Blonde,\u00a0\u201cP.. U\u2026 L\u2026 L\u2026\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

Ralph came home drunk one night,<\/h2>\n

slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber\u2026<\/p>\n

He awoke before the Pearly Gates where saint Peter said, \u201cYou died in your sleep Ralph.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ralph was stunned. \u201cI\u2019m dead? No I can\u2019t be! I\u2019ve got too much to live for. Send me back!\u201d<\/p>\n

St Peter said, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, but there\u2019s only one way you can go back, and that is as a lesser being. An animal.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ralph was devastated, but begs St Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.<\/p>\n

A rooster strolled past. \u201cSo you\u2019re the new hen, huh? How\u2019s your first day here?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot bad,\u201d replied Ralph the Hen, \u201cbut I have this strange feeling inside, like I\u2019m going to explode.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re ovulating,\u201d explained the rooster. \u201cDon\u2019t tell me you\u2019ve never laid an egg before!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNever.\u201d said Ralph.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell just relax and let it happen,\u201d says the rooster, \u201cIt\u2019s no big deal.\u201d<\/p>\n

Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg \u2013 his joy was overwhelming.<\/p>\n

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell\u2026<\/p>\n

\u201cRALPH wake up! You cr*pped the bed!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A blonde keeps having the same weird dream, so she goes to her doctor. Doctor, \u201cWhat is your dream about?\u201d Blonde, \u201cI am being chased by a vampire\u2026\u201d Doctor, \u201cSo, where are you in this dream?\u201d Blonde, \u201cI am running in a hallway.\u201d Doctor, \u201cThen what happens?\u201d Blonde, \u201cWell, that\u2019s the weird thing. In every […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":889,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1045","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1045","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1045"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1045\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1046,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1045\/revisions\/1046"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/889"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1045"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1045"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1045"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}