Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral.<\/p>\n
As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, I\u2019m sure Joe would be pleased,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sure you\u2019re right,\u201d replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow much did this really cost?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cAll of it,\u201d said Helen. \u201cThirty thousand.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo!\u201d Jody exclaimed. \u201cI mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?\u201d<\/p>\n
Helen answered. \u201cThe funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to the church. The wake, food and drinks were another $500. The rest went for the memorial stone.\u201d<\/p>\n
Jody computed quickly. \u201c$22,500 for a memorial stone? My God, how big is it?!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cTwo and a half carats.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n A woman takes her little boy to visit their dead relatives\u2019 gravestones at a cemetery.<\/p>\n The little boy has never been to a cemetery before. The woman first takes her son her grandmother Annie\u2019s gravestone.<\/p>\n The initials under Annie\u2019s name say R.I.P. The little boy asks, \u201cMommy, what does R.I.P. stand for?\u201d<\/p>\n His mother replies, \u201cIt stands for \u2018Rest in Peace.\u2019 That means we wish for Grandma Annie\u2019s spirit to find peace in the afterlife.\u201d<\/p>\n Then, they come across the gravestone of the woman\u2019s uncle Joe. The little boy asks, \u201cMommy, what does R.I.H. stand for?\u201d, pointing to the initials printed under Uncle Joe\u2019s name.<\/p>\n \u201cWe really didn\u2019t like Uncle Joe.\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0Said his mother.<\/p>\n A lawyer meets with the family of a recently deceased millionaire for the reading of the will.<\/p>\n \u2018To my loving wife, Rose, who always stood by me, I leave the house and $2 million,\u2019 the attorney reads.<\/p>\n \u2018To my darling daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave the yacht, the business and $1 million.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018And finally,\u2019 the lawyer concludes, \u2018to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me and thought I would never mention him in my will.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018Well, you were wrong. Hi Dan!\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend. \u201cWell, I\u2019m sure Joe would be pleased,\u201d she said. \u201cI\u2019m sure you\u2019re right,\u201d replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. \u201cHow much did this really cost?\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":889,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1021","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1021","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1021"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1021\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1022,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1021\/revisions\/1022"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/889"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1021"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1021"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1021"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}