A blonde & her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor\u2019s dog.
\nIt has been in the backyard barking for hours & hours.<\/p>\n
The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, \u201cI\u2019ve had enough of this\u201d.<\/p>\n
She goes downstairs.<\/p>\n
The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband says, \u201cThe dog is still barking, what have you been doing?\u201d<\/p>\n
The blonde says, \u201cI put the dog in our backyard \u2026 let\u2019s see how THEY like all the barking!\u201d<\/p>\n
1. My friend has a fine watch dog.<\/p>\n
At any suspicious noise he wakes the dog and the dog begins to bark.<\/p>\n
2. \u201cWhat did one ghost say to another?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cDo you believe in people?\u201d<\/p>\n
3. \u201cWhere did you get those big eyes?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cThey came with the face.\u201d<\/p>\n
4. \u201cMy wife doesn\u2019t know what she wants.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re lucky. My wife does.\u201d<\/p>\n
5. \u201cRoom Service? Can you send up a towel?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cPlease wait someone else is using it.\u201d<\/p>\n
6. I was thinking of becoming a doctor.<\/p>\n
I have the handwriting for it.<\/p>\n
7. My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look s-e.xy\u2026 so I got drunk.<\/p>\n
8. Daughter: Mommy, what\u2019s it like to have the most awesome daughter in the world?<\/p>\n
Mother: I don\u2019t know, ask your grandmother.<\/p>\n
9. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.<\/p>\n
10. Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship\u2019s kitchen.<\/p>\n
11. One day while in a bank, an old lady asked if i could help her check her balance\u2026 so i pushed her over.<\/p>\n
12. \u201cDo you think I\u201dll lose my looks as I get older?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes if you\u2019re lucky.\u201d<\/p>\n
13. I\u2019ll change my facebook username to NOBODY,<\/p>\n
So that way when people post crappy posts,<\/p>\n
and I press the like button it will say NOBODY likes this.<\/p>\n
14. \u201cHas there been any insanity in your family?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, doctor. My husband thinks he\u2019s the boss.\u201d<\/p>\n
15. You\u2019re not fat, you\u2019re just\u2026 easier to see.<\/p>\n
16. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.<\/p>\n
17. A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don\u2019t need it.<\/p>\n
18. Man: I want to share everything with you.<\/p>\n
Woman: Let\u2019s start from your bank account.<\/p>\n
19. \u201cYoung man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI ought to be able to. I\u2019ve had 12 different jobs in four months.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A blonde & her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor\u2019s dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours & hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, \u201cI\u2019ve had enough of this\u201d. She goes downstairs. The blonde finally comes back up to bed and her husband […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":889,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1012","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1012","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1012"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1012\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1013,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1012\/revisions\/1013"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/889"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1012"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1012"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1012"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}