{"id":1003,"date":"2025-08-08T09:19:42","date_gmt":"2025-08-08T09:19:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=1003"},"modified":"2025-08-08T09:19:42","modified_gmt":"2025-08-08T09:19:42","slug":"the-good-old-days-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/?p=1003","title":{"rendered":"The Good Old Days"},"content":{"rendered":"

An older couple were lying in bed one night.<\/h2>\n

The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.<\/p>\n

She said, \u201cYou used to hold my hand when we were courting.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.<\/p>\n

A few moments later she said, \u201cThen you used to kiss me.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.<\/p>\n

Thirty seconds later she said, \u201cThen you used to bite my neck.\u201d<\/p>\n

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere are you going?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cTo get my teeth!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald\u2019s.<\/h2>\n

He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra cup.<\/p>\n

As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them.<\/p>\n

Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife.<\/p>\n

The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.<\/p>\n

The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn\u2019t have to split theirs.<\/p>\n

The old gentleman said, \u201cOh no. We\u2019ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50\/50.\u201d<\/p>\n

The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied,\u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s his turn with the teeth.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

An old grandma brings a bus driver a bag of peanuts every day.<\/h2>\n

First the bus driver enjoyed the peanuts but after a week of eating them he asked: \u201cPlease granny, don\u2019t bring me peanuts anymore. Have them yourself.\u201d.<\/p>\n

The granny answers: \u201cYou know, I don\u2019t have teeth anymore.\u00a0I just prefer to suck the chocolate around them.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

As my grandmother and I<\/h2>\n

were walking towards the United Nations Building in New York City, we came upon a street evangelist who was trying to get the attention of passersby.<\/p>\n

He urged those near him to flee from the wrath to come.<\/p>\n

\u201cI warn you,\u201d he roared, \u201cthat there will be weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth!\u201d<\/p>\n

An old woman in the crowd shouted snidely: \u201cSir, I have no teeth!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLady,\u201d the evangelist retorted,\u00a0\u201cteeth will be provided!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said, \u201cYou used to hold my hand when we were courting.\u201d Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":889,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1003","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1003","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1003"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1003\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1004,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1003\/revisions\/1004"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/889"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1003"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1003"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/tappyli.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1003"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}