How Do They Do It?

As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat.

Later, I called the company and was relieved that the driver had found it. When I went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded me. One man handed me my pocketbook, jewellery, make-up stuff, and a box containing the contents of my purse.

As I started to put my belongings back into the purse, a man said, “I hope you don’t mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse – and we’d like to see just how you do it.”

Dictionary for women

Argument: A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realised it yet.

Bar-be-que: You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but he made the dinner.

Clothes Dryer: An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda: A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity: The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise: To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List: What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser: Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See “Magician”.

Hardware Store: Similar to a black hole in space — if he goes in, he isn’t coming out anytime soon.

Patience: The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also “tranquilliser”.

Valentine’s Day: A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner and diamonds, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.